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Archive for the ‘Tell Me Why’ Category

In today’s downtrodden economy, it’s more important than ever for stores to sell, sell, sell. I try to do my part to help out. I shop when I can. But I feel the need to do more. So, I want to offer some advice to all the clothing stores out there. Something for you all to keep in mind not only as we collectively face a recession, but for future reference too.

But no one likes just flat-out advice, right? So let’s begin with a recent anecdote. It starts last night. Actually, it starts Monday night. When My Guy told me I had plans for Saturday and that I should dress up a bit. We aren’t talking cocktail dress or anything, but something to match his own dressier outfit.  But he would say nothing more.

Clearly he has something up his sleeve. I figure the most a girl can do in this situation is buy a new dress for the mystery occasion. And really, I’ll take any excuse to hit up some of my favorite stores. And no, I won’t post a pic of my dress. It’s a surprise, really all I have to counter his.  I think he takes the cake on surprises in this scenario though.

Anyway, yesterday after work, I hit Michigan Avenue. There is something to be said for working a block east and just a touch south of a famous shopping district. I tried on dresses, and cute as they may be I noticed something I’ve always noticed while shopping. Garish, fluorescent lighting washing me out and giving me greenish undertones, highlighting the general pastiness of my nearly translucent skin and making my eyes look like I hadn’t slept in a good month or so.

And so we come to the advice section of this post. It applies to all stores as I have yet to encounter one that has picked up on it. Here it is: soft lighting is our friend. Seriously, put me in some flattering light while I try on your merchandise and I’ll stick around a while and end up saying “Damn, I look good, I must buy this…and this…and this,” instead of “Augh! I’m a hot mess, must flee the store immediately!”

Seriously, what I wouldn’t give for somebody to just get that!

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Sunday morning I woke up with a killer sore throat.  And proceeded to spend a majority of my day sleeping either in bed or on my couch.  Yesterday I discovered I couldn’t really talk while I was at work, was sent home early and proceeded to spend the remainder of my afternoon and evening…sleeping in my bed or on my couch.  Thrilling, eh?

I haven’t really been able to swallow.  It’s made for an interesting though not needed diet.  So, this morning when I woke up with little change I decided it was time to go to the doctor.  As I prepared myself for the doctor, and google chatted with a friend (cause even if the voice isn’t working, the typing is) we came to this conclusion: we want lollipops.  I mean come on.  Like we  hit a certain age and don’t want lollipops?  Like we adults don’t go through some pretty uncomfortable things at the doctor’s office?  Like a shot doesn’t still hurt?

Sure, we don’t throw a fit, or need to be told to be brave, but come on.  Where is the lollipop love?

I went to my appointment and as I sat in reception heard a small child who was NOT happy about being at the doctor.  Really not happy.  So not happy that those of us in reception caught each other’s eyes and the receptionist tsk-tsked over him. I bet he got two lollipops.

I was called back, examined, examined again, examined a third time (physician’s assistant, medical student, actual doctor) and had strep swabs jammed down my throat.  “Any weight loss?”  “Well I haven’t really eaten in three days, so yeah, probably.” Then I found out, they think I have strep and that instead of getting a prescription I could get a shot of penicillin in my hip.  Which, considering I can’t really swallow water right now, is a good thing.

As I waited for my shot, I heard in the next room a little boy getting a shot, and screaming.  And his parents telling him he was doing so good.  And when it was over, I heard the nurse talking about the lollipops.  Guess what I got when my shot was done?  A sore hip.

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Sometimes, I just have to wonder

Why do contestants on Wheel of Fortune insist on buying vowels when they obviously know the answer?

Um, hello you are buying vowels. That means it is costing you money. You aren’t exactly increasing your prize money.

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