In the midst of trying to finish a 2500+ word story on breast cancer fundraising (sidenote: I hate pink ribbons) and compile a group financial analysis of the Harley-Davidson Corporation, I decided I was in need of a little break last night. So I donned my coat and headed down the street to the Whole Foods to buy some sushi and a copy of Psychology Today (everyone go buy it; the lovely and talented Marissa is featured in the magazine and on the masthead. End shameless plugging of friends here.).
I then crossed the street to a coffee place that isn’t my usual Starbucks. (Hint: the name rhymes with “Schmaribou.”) Normally I don’t especially like this establishment, but seeing as how I OD’d on caffeine Wednesday and couldn’t sleep, I wasn’t planning on buying coffee (which is good as I usually liken theirs to dirty dishwater) and wanted someplace a little different.
So, I walk into “Schmaribou” and order myself a hot chocolate, only forgetting where I am, I order a “grande” hot chocolate made with skim milk and no whip cream. The guy looks at me and goes “That’s a medium, right?” And I realized what I said and got all red and mumbled something like “yeah, wrong place I guess.”
It struck me as funny because I have heard and read countless stories of people who don’t like it when the baristas at Starbucks correct them for calling a “grande” a “medium,” and here I was in a reverse situation. But really, it seems like Starbucks and their trying-to-be-Italian bretheren have seeped into the culture enough that we know a grande is a medium and a medium is a grande. Can’t we all just get along?
I say, let’s call the whole thing off.
This story made my day. Damn those Caribou baristas. Seriously, I’m so glad you shared this with us. It’s an ironic reversal if you ask me. Just promise me you never buy coffee at a place that rhymes with Fuckin’.
i only started visiting starbucks this year…i get it, now. i soooo get it.
First of all, thank you for that plug! You are the best.
Secondly, the advice you gave me in that last email has shifted my whole attitude and perspective–again, you are the best! Thirdly, I can say this because I’m a devoted patron of any and all coffee shops, but think it’s so funny how the baristas at all these places are so snobby about calling the drinks and their corresponding sizes by the ‘proper’ names. At Starbucks they’re not so bad–when I forget and say ‘medium’ no one really stares me down with the evil eye. But when I go elsewhere and call it a tall or venti, they look at me like I have 10 heads.
Whole Foods has the BEST sushi!!
I don’t drink coffee, a tea almost every morning, but no coffee.
I had no idea what Schmaribou was. Thank God someone clarified that in the comments section. We don’t have a Caribou around these parts.
When I was in Chicago, I went to Caribou and didn’t find it all that offensive. Especially since there are free refills on the iced tea. That’s a big plus. What don’t you like? The actual coffee? I don’t think I tried it.
Jill, I don’t like the actual coffee–it’s weak and tastes bad to me.
Listen, when I think of Starbucks coffee, I think of a singed charcoal briquette topped with a droplet of overbrewed espresso. Translation, not a fan. Even still, Starbucks is divine compared to anything Schmaribou (or Schmosi for that matter) produces.
Fun blog!
This is a funny post – but I’m a little defensive being a veteran Caribou Barista for 3+ years.
Most Caribou employees haven’t stepped foot in a Starbucks – and have no idea what a Venti is. I would always get confused and think a “Tall” was a large.
Don’t even get me started on the differences between the Macchiato…
On a closing note – consumer reports recently rated McDonald’s Premium coffee tastier & cheaper than Starbucks! This was their comments on how the Starbuck’s coffee tasted:
“Starbucks: $1.55, was strong, but burnt and bitter enough to make your eyes water instead of open.”
Don’t go to Caribou. It’s a horrible money hungry company that treat their employees like crap. On the money side, Starbucks may not be much better, but at least they pay their employees well, starting team members out at sometimes $10/hr, unlike Caribou, who start their team members out at minimum wage, and continuously remind everyone that if they don’t like it, they’re replaceable. I’m a shift supervisor at Caribou, and I work sometimes 12/hr days without any kind of break or time to eat anything, the whole time on my feet. The shift supervisors basically do all the manager’s duties, and we get paid nearly minimum wage. When I enquired about this to our DM, I was told “don’t like it? go to starbucks” Bastards